Pi**ed in the Palace!

March 24th, 2008 by mas | Filed under Society & Issues.

I took the boys to the science museum today and on the way back Ben told me about his friend who had recently been to see the Palace. I told him a watered down version of when I went to the Palace a few years ago - the full version is much more interesting though…..

I used to work with Young Carers and one of the lads involved with the project got an invitation to visit the Queen. Alan had a busy life - he looked after his disabled mum along with his younger sisters all while studying for his A Levels. He certainly didn’t have time to hang around drinking so his knowledge of alcohol was limited (he was 16 at this time).

I’ve never much liked London so didn’t have much knowledge of it but assumed the simplest way to get down there would be to drive (from Worcester) - so off we went in my Fiat Uno. These were the days before Sat Nav so I’d printed off some directions which were entrusted to Alan. Unfortunately Alan wasn’t much of a navigator but I wasn’t too bothered because presumably there would be plenty of signs to Buckingham Palace?! Well actually not, and after traversing various lanes we ended up on some roads with no markings in front of a big building.

I pulled over to ask for some directions and very quickly a police officer came over - he saw the sign on the dashboard that we had to display to gain entry to the Palace and told me politely to clear off because it wasn’t yet time - it seemed the big building was the Palace! There was no obvious way in but he said go and drive around for a bit and come back in 30 minutes.

30 Minutes later I drove us back along the same road and this time Police Officers jumped out into the road and pointed us from one Officer to the next until the railings in front of the Palace opened. As we drove in through one of the arches two Sentries gave us a salute and in we went. Inside the Palace is a courtyard and here I had to drop Alan off at the red carpet and then go and park my Fiat Uno alongside lots of chauffeur driven Mercedes and other posh cars.

The invitation was for Alan only so I bided my time in the car park. Eventually Alan came out - “How did it go?” I asked - “It was good…..but I think I’m drunk!” Apparently inside there was plenty of food and lots of trays of drinks. Alan had started on the ‘apple juice’ and drunk more than one before realising that perhaps this apple juice was perhaps cider! (so he said I think maybe something a bit more posh?!). He didn’t get to speak to the Queen - he said he’d stood next to her for quite a while but people get jumping in to talk to her before he got any opportunity to do so.

So off we drove and followed the helpful sighs from London to ‘The North’ which took us off towards Sheffield! Not a bad time to have a detour though to allow Alan to sleep off some of that Royal Apple Juice!